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The false “positivity”

If you answer yes, before you continue reading, you are probably cheating yourself …

Many people are victims of false positivity. Pretending to show that we are always “good” is very cruel, and has important consequences.

The joy is an emotion, but human beings we continually assail other emotions such as fear, sadness, anger, surprise, and disgust. These, according to many theories, are the 6 basic emotions. And they have an important mission in our life: let us know. But they are nothing more than that, an alert. Let’s see how important it is that we begin to change our relationship with them.

Do you know the message that brings us joy? Achievement and satisfaction. Do you feel satisfied or reaching goals every moment?

Of course not! So, you will also be fortunate to receive the precious messages of other basic human emotions. This is usually what they want to tell you:

  • Sadness: “You have a change ahead”
  • Angry: “Something or someone is crossing your limits”
  • Disgust: “This threatens your values”

Do you know how long the emotions last? 90 seconds, according to the research of neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor. That is how long the chemical effects associated with emotion last. Enough time for a “kitchen ear!”

However, some people deny their emotions. They simply do not want to see them, they refuse to feel them appear a state of permanent and implacable positivity. And the only thing they get is to suffer, to grow that emotion and turn it into an emotional burden (now yes, negative), which reduces their quality of life and becomes ill … How many cases do you know of “very happy” people who suddenly Do they fall into a depression?

It’s not about identifying yourself or letting yourself be kidnapped by emotions. It is a matter of training your mind to recognize them, accept them, receive the message and, if necessary, act.

About three weeks ago I received news that generated a strong emotion of surprise and affected me especially. In addition to helping me get to know myself a little more, managing that emotion led me to interesting research and, finally, to write this article.

A relative whom I have a lot of love had had cancer. In just two weeks, he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor that was reducing his vision, cancer in the prostate and had had surgery on the latter. There was no time. He is a boy of little more than 40 years. We had always been struck by his continued positivity. We never saw him “badly”, and he always assured that everything was “cool”. We affectionately call him “the cool”. As a result of the disease, we have discovered that he does not talk to his mother or his siblings and is about to separate from his second wife. Although he has been told that cancer has no treatment and that the only thing he can do now is waiting, he continues to affirm that “nothing is happening”, with a cold smile and already unconvincing …

In my opinion, not recognizing and accepting their emotions to appear something that is not, has turned them into a powerful emotional charge and a potent poison: resentment. And resentment, sick.

I agree that everything is fine and that nothing happens … when you accept everything you feel as it is. Because that is to allow life. And this teaches you the mindfulness and meditation, to accept any experience that arises and know how to manage it from there. Only from acceptance does the mind calm down and you can see clearly.

The beauty of life is that we are vulnerable. That is precisely what sets us apart from the stones and the artificial intelligence of the robots. We live in a dual reality, in which it is not possible to experience anything that does not have an opposite. You know what the cold is because you have experienced the heat. You know what peace is because you have fought. And, fortunately, we have emotions that guide us on our way. It is important to recognize, appreciate and use them to move forward and be truly happier every day.

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