From a philosophical point of view, happiness lies in finding the balance that arises from being well with oneself, enjoying the moments of loneliness in the same way that we enjoy social relationships with friends, couples or family. In essence, we must all bet on our own autonomy from an emotional point of view to live happily every day.
However, sometimes we create emotional relationships in which the opposite happens: we generate an emotional dependence and make our happiness depend on other people or on what they do or think about us. This can happen both with our partners and with our relatives, as evidenced, for example, by many parents’ behavior patterns towards their children, terrified at the idea that they will grow and leave the nest someday.
In the same way, there can also be an emotional dependence on work or other people in our environment and that generates the same negative thoughts and behaviors that any type of addiction would do , such as alcoholism, smoking or gambling. After all, all addiction is a dependency that limits our lives, and through which we turn into another person or activity other gaps that exist within ourselves. That’s right, instead of facing them, we divert our attention to other elements that give us, in appearance, a more rewarding feeling.
Causes of emotional dependence
The emotional dependency is usually fueled by a lack of self – esteem and personal insecurities that fuel mistrust, fear and uncertainty. Because of all this, there is a need in us to seek security and control in our surroundings, be it other people or other activities that we consider to bring stability to our lives.
However, this feeling of dependence that generates apparent well-being, actually hides an extremely high level of suffering, since the sufferer comes to think that he is unable to live without that other person or activity.
Keys to overcoming emotional dependence
To get out of it on time, these are 6 keys that can help you manage and combat emotional dependence :
- Invest in your personal development.
- Focus more on yourself.
- Leave the past behind.
- Strengthen your values.
- Take responsibility for your emotions.
- Learn to be fine with yourself.