1. “This will also happen”
It’s a real phrase, memorize it. The sadness has a certain duration. It may seem incredible, but it is true. Alex Rovira and Francesc Miralles insist on this. Sadness is the reverse of joy and is there to tell us that something is wrong. Both of us recommend writing down what meant so much sadness in the past (love break, loss of a loved one, a dismissal …) and how we were able to overcome it. Apply that same strategy now.
2. Attitude does count
Work it and define a plan . Nothing will change in you if you don’t do your part to make it happen. Laziness and selfishness are usually the cause of not making that change of attitude with joy. Think of a situation where you did not react properly, in bad ways, analyze the role you did and try to rewrite how you would have liked to act. Apply, whenever you have occasion, that new action plan.
3. Comply with the breach
If that mattered to you, it would be for something. You wanted to study and you didn’t do it, write that book and you left it, or learn that language and you didn’t see yourself capable. Surely all that is possible to do now. Prioritize your obligations, but take time for your wishes. Do not accumulate in a list of frustrations that will subtract doses of self-esteem. Moreover, surely you have childhood dreams that you could still learn and put into practice today. Reward yourself and feed your motivation.
4. Look at your dog
He flows and we should do it too. Your dog moves its tail when it sees you, jumps for joy, celebrates your comings and goings, your caresses, its basic priorities, and the game. From his humor and his reactions, you can learn. We too, in the face of joy, move more, gesture, celebrate with food and react to caresses. So watch your dog and incorporate in him his ability to set himself on a goal – without succumbing to so many distractions – his spontaneous reactions and his delivery to rest.
5. Are you glad to see him?
Think of the people who sow joy. Motivation expert Jim Rohn states that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Ask yourself what that top 5 looks like: if they are optimistic, if they are happy about your successes, if they strive to achieve their goals and if they listen to you. If something fails, reduce the time you spend with them or stay away. It’s radical, say the authors, but it’s the best way. In turn, think of the people in your environment that make you feel good: they are the sowers of joy. Spend more time with them. It will transform you.
6. Don’t believe everything you believe.
Leave prejudices. We are mistaken many times because of topics and generalities that are spread. Reflect on beliefs of the type: “You cannot trust anyone,” “whatever we do there is no solution” or “all are equal.” As long as you believe them, they end up ruling your life. Stop believing them so that, finally, the change begins to be generated. Because there are beliefs that do not allow you to move forward. Repeat them out loud every day and pay attention to the signs that tell you otherwise. Question the source of your prejudices.
7.The creative ride
Walk and think, both things go hand in hand. Do it alone, without haste, with time and without distractions beyond the landscape (which you should change from time to time). While walking, don’t forget your hands: according to a study from the University of Michigan (USA) when we are immersed in our thinking, the hand movement helps us create better ideas. Also, take a deep breath and analyze your problems. Step by step you will find ideas and … Solutions. Remember that the philosophers of ancient Greece took great walks.
8. Strengthen those links
Break with those who pollute you. Much has been said about toxic relationships. Once you identify those people who subtract you, limit them in your life. If breaking certain links is impossible (there are family members who will always be there), do your part so that their behavior does not affect your self-esteem. The key is to strengthen your circle of trust by reviewing your relationships and see if your attitude satisfies you: if not, try to change for your good and the common good.
9. Organize your memories
Come back to them from time to time. The past should not be an anchor that does not allow you to move forward. Resort to great (and good) moments lived, preserved in photographs, memories, notes, letters, books, messages on your mobile … It can help you connect with those positive emotions. Therefore, organize them and turn to them when you need them, but always to look forward. In times of stress close your eyes and visualize them.
10. Practice tenderness
Hugs are free (and effective). Caress therapy works. Touch is one of the least valued senses, but emotionally it should be the first on the list. Studies show that an effective caress, characterized by a slow stimulation of the skin (covering between 1 and 10 cm per second), causes pleasant emotions and improves anxiety symptoms. Therapist Virginia Satir says that “we need four daily hugs to survive, eight to keep us and 12 hugs to grow.”
11. It is not worth criticizing anyone
It will fit you better. Criticisms can turn against you because, first, you will be immersed in a cloud of negativity that will be very difficult to get out of. Speaking badly about others, not doing self-criticism, reacting reluctantly and justifying your ways by those of others are behaviors that you should avoid. Judging others is a very common habit in frustrated people. To begin, practice the fast of criticism at least one day a week. This recommendation by Álex Rovira and Francesc Miralles will make you feel better at the end of the day. It will also be worth it when the criticism is towards yourself. Do it several days a week and you will find it liberating. In the end, you are likely to leave this bad habit.
12. Pygmalion Beam
Also for yourself. Choose a person you want and help them in their objectives: convey that you can achieve it, believe in it, encourage it and follow its progress. Make him Pygmalion. And apply it to you. Self-confidence, even if infected by a third party, can give us wings. Our limbic system accelerates the speed of our thinking, increases our lucidity and energy, and consequently, our attention and efficiency, explains Rovira.
13. Lighten your backpack
Make lists of what weighs you. There are very heavy stones that we accumulate in our emotional backpack. Make a list identifying them and, every week, get rid of one of them. The authors of Alegría talk about stones of the mind (prejudices), of the heart ( toxic people ), heavy (objects) and every day (such as laziness and resignation). It’s about cleaning what we have leftover : lighter we can fly easily.
14. The natural thing is to be cheerful
Nature helps you. It will relax you, open your mind and help you focus. The forest baths, typical of Japan, is walking in the middle of nature paying attention to the smell of the plants, the noise of the wind in the trees … Locate a green space, go to it at least once a week and immerse yourself in the experience. That the sound of nature does not come only from the alarm of your mobile.
15. Now is your time
Live, above all, in the present. “Joy has its home in the present. Stop lamenting and worrying, ”the author’s comment. It is not being unconscious about what will come or what happened and is no longer a remedy. His advice is to try to add joys: look at a painting you like for a few minutes, concentrated; close your eyes and listen to a song; When you eat, savor and recreate on your plate. They are techniques for you to focus on the present. Practice mindfulness.